Where waves break,
souls are mended.
Found this quote without an author at the shop where I work, Expressions in St. Augustine and it was true on the Cape and equally true here in my adopted Florida home.
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(After a few choice expletives aimed at that "something" that keeps pulling me into a hole.)
I want to go to the root of my happiness & hang on to it –
Really I won't need to cling to it, will I?
Non attatchment – non judgement -
What is the root of my happiness?
Joy
The Joy of being on this beautiful planet & being human.
being alive in this miraculous body.
Being human. Not perfect or a god. but human.
No longer at war with myself or my humanness. accepting, tolerant celebrating.
I came here to make friends
with myself
and we're having a fight.
Not speaking really.
one of us wants to be happy
the other melancholy.
So I am beside myself.
…
I am trying to make light of it.
Go out & have a fist fight with the air…
growl and scowl but let it pass.
Something in the stars – the waning moon – the front coming through-
What?
(Later after a walk…)
I left here hungry
without breakfast or love
I walked by the water
on a blue sky day
and came home full of love
still no breakfast
no bath
no chores done
but myself has come home
again for – we don't know how long
& welcome back you lovely
beautiful soul
welcome back.
C-Scape dune shack and Pilgrim Monument in the distance. Provincetown, Massachesetts.
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December 7 2001 Am
Shack
Last Day
A mouse goes to sleep
in the morning, would you say
good night (sleep tight) or g'day!?
The demons came, softly quietly as though they were so comfy & friendly with me and I had a sit down talk with myself like a loving partner might – everytime you get happy you get ahead you get to feeling really good – someone in here makes fun of you - belittles you diminishes your joy & even your pain – Why do you let that happen? Try to keep an eye on the BIG Picture. Leave yourself alone – Be silly Be joyful be a pain – don't apologize or compare – keep an eye on The BIG Picture – It's not just you here – there's lots to do & see – You have as much right as anyone to be here & and to be you here –
Something keeps pulling you down into the hole –
More tomorrow…
Photo: Winter Retreat, taken on a very cold day visiting the shack.
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December 3, 2001
C-Scape Dune Shack, evening.
Walking back toward the shack today after hiking & scketching & napping – I was planning on some lunch –
However there was a group of clouds over the shack in an otherwise cloudless sky. These clouds looked like stylized – Beautifully stylized dolphins in the wild in and out of the water – Just Beautiful & the whole configuration was sort of in the shape of a diamond. So me thinks to meself – maybe there are dolphins in the ocean just over the dune here. So I go inside and put my things away & get my binoculars.
I go down to the beach & think – well the clouds are really over Race Pt and I'm not walking to race Pt.
So I'm watching the ducks and the Loons and Lo and behold I see splashing in the distance – lots of splashing then I see spouts & dorsal fins & then tails and a few breaches! perhaps some dolphins but most definitely whales!
How wonderful & so cosmic to have that cloud enlighten me to visitors in the neighborhood!
I looked over my shoulder to acknowledge the cloud & it had disappeared!
Disappeared!
Photo taken several years prior to the above entry from a whale watch boat.
Grammer and spelling are true to the original entry!
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Twelve years ago I won a week's stay in a Dune Shack
in Provincetown on Cape Cod.
Already initiated in shack dwelling by a generous friend
who taught me about wood fires and well water and kerosene lamps,
there was no fear,
only anticipation.
Craving the isolation and solitude,
on my first day I bristled when I saw two women approach the shack.
They politely knocked on the door and apologized for the intrusion.
"…but would you mind terribly if I showed my friend the shack,
my stay here was so important to my life that I wanted to show her?
We won't be long I promise,
I understand your need for solitude."
They were so respectful of my time and space that when they departed
only minutes later, I almost wished that they would stay longer!
This week on LainesBlog,
I will revisit that week in December
with some excerpts from my journals
and a few photos as well!
I hope that you enjoy it!
The C-Scape Dune shack in Provincetown on Cape Cod.
The "intruder" was the writer, Joan Anderson whose book, A Year By The Sea, is an inspiring story about her late life changes in family and marriage and work.
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Who doesn't like staring into a warm fire on a cold night?
Drawn into the magic of dancing light and heat and the crackling sounds,
it is difficult to concentrate on the conversations around you,
and the one in your head is more like a dream.
A dream that humans have been having for thousands of years,
restfulness, safety, peace, warmth.
Winter dreams…
Human dreams…
-
Cat in the pot!
Remember not to overwater!
-
At the end of a beautiful day,
the sun sets early,
and the town illuminates the night with millions of white lights!
Thanksgiving was late
and Christmas will be early,
and before you know it,
the new year is upon us.
The seasons come and go,
and we're still here,
older and wiser
and more relaxed
about it all –
mostly!
St. Augustine and the Nights of Lights with a beautiful skylight!
-
Sometimes new friends sneak up on you
and take you by surprise.
Are you just two ships passing in the night,
or lifelong friends in the making?
Only time will tell.
Cat meets possum on the outside deck and pretends not to care.
Possum refuses to play possum.
They part amicably.
-
Once again, it is that time of year when people are driving really really badly.
So,
go slow,
pay attention
and
watch out for the other guy.
For whatever reason,
she/he is having a really bad day.
Let the fun begin!
Lainesblog Thinking Out Loud
Gleanings From Living Long
Lainesblog Thinking Out Loud 