Something In The Stars…(continued)

(After a few choice expletives aimed at that "something" that keeps pulling me into a hole.)

I want to go to the root of my happiness & hang on to it –

Really I won't need to cling to it, will I?

Non attatchment – non judgement -

What is the root of my happiness?

Joy

The Joy of being on this beautiful planet & being human.

being alive in this miraculous body.

Being human. Not perfect or a god. but human.

No longer at war with myself or my humanness. accepting, tolerant celebrating.

I came here to make friends

with myself

and we're having a fight.

Not speaking really.

one of us wants to be happy

the other melancholy.

So I am beside myself.

…

I am trying to make light of it.

Go out & have a fist fight with the air…

growl and scowl but let it pass.

Something in the stars – the waning moon – the front coming through-

What?

(Later after a walk…)

I left here hungry

without breakfast or love

I walked by the water

on a blue sky day

and came home full of love

still no breakfast

no bath

no chores done

but myself has come home

again for – we don't know how long

& welcome back you lovely

beautiful soul

welcome back.

C-Scape dune shack and Pilgrim Monument in the distance. Provincetown, Massachesetts.